I like to be mean, and I need content for the off-season. So here is what I came up with: I’m responding in an ironic, sarcastic, or just plain mean manner to a Eurovision song. And because there are quite a few which would just be way too easy, I’m going on shuffle to choose the song. Which means: On the menu is everything from 2007 to 2016, plus some older ones. Today, it’s one of my favourites and the episode hurts a little: Vaclav Noid Barta & Marta Jandova – Hope Never Dies.
Wait for me don’t cross the sea of pain
Wait for me I’m lost I’ve gone astray
Ravens calling my name, their wings so dark
Soon they’ll take me away, I have their mark
They never miss their prey
Is it just me or does this, in combination with the music, make it sound like they’re a wildling couple that lost their way on a raid south of the Wall? (Yes I know crows and ravens are not the same. What are you, a biology teacher?)
There is no light to pray for
Cold and dim are the skies
Running out of life
There we go on with the theme. Someone among the chasers must be quite the archer, I guess.
In your eyes I could see
Our hopes and our future
Now we must let go
We’re crossing into a bit of a Romeo and Juliet territory here. But still fits the theme – even though technically the dying one doesn’t have to let go, that just happens. And the dying one could be either of them, so they’re probably bleeding out next to each other. Romantic, but a little tense for a date maybe?
Find me where the night turns into day
Your love as a torch shows us the way
How to be whole again
So, Marta – assuming she’s on the equator, which she probably isn’t – is running at 1670 km/h, all while bleeding to death. And while I’d need to ask my English teacher, but something tells me that “Your love as a torch” is not a sentence that makes any sense…
[…] Must let go, must let fade away
Or we can rise and fight
Still assuming this whole “bleeding to death while running around the equator to stay where night turns into day, because otherwise Vaclav won’t find her” theory is true, she simply suggests getting up? What did we build all those hospitals for if it’s so easy?
For a light to live for
Fire in our hearts
Through our pain
Through all the lies
We will walk, walk reborn
The light to live for is right there in front of you, you’re running with the terminator. All you gotta do is stumble or something to slow down for a second and it shines upon you, but then you wouldn’t be where night turns into day anymore. And if your plan is to walk reborn, you’re not fighting, you have given up and decided to rely on the restart button.
Hope never dies
Gabriela Guncikova agrees.
Never let me go
I will never stop loving the unintentional weirdness of two people shouting “Never let me go” at each other. You’re in front of each other, you wanna be near each other… no, I guess there’s no way to solve that.
So, apparently the Czech Republic is a nation of miracles, reincarnation and an overly active Night’s Watch on the hunt for Eurovision singers. And only god knows why Marta Jandova hasn’t used her talent in running at over the speed of sound to win an enormous amount of Olympic gold medals.