With our review series done and the second rehearsals history, it is time to look at the first semifinal again. We have, after all, not talked about rehearsals or predictions yet! I’m here to change that for you and give Music For Europe’s predictions and awards. Awards? Yes, awards for everyone actually!
Okay, some of them might not be winning in a category you actually want to win. But hey, should’ve thought about that before you picked that song or staging!
FINLAND: Award for the least Finnish sounding Finnish entry of all times
Cause nothing screams “FINLAND!” more than a third-class attempt at a summer hit.
GREECE: Award for the best (Pontic?) Greek Rap part of the year
Which is like being given an award for being the best country beginning with G and ending with reece, but I couldn’t find any category with competition that Greece would win.
MOLDOVA: Award for the most awkward language change
Cause it totally makes sense Moldova sings in French, of course, because logic.
HUNGARY: Award for the most anthemic song
Forget Ira Losco, this is the true “bigger than Europe” song. And we need an anthem, don’t we?
CROATIA: Barbara Dex Award
NETHERLANDS: Award for the most American song
The Netherlands seem to have that one booked. Are you still not over New York or something?
ARMENIA: Award for the sexiest outfit
SAN MARINO: Award for the creepiest song
Cause nothing screams “CREEP!” more than a middle-aged man singing these lyrics in a dark area. And the scream of the backing in the first verse doesn’t help at all.
RUSSIA: Award for the most impressive staging
I assume they have to distract from the fact the song is 10 years old, but hey, it works.
My favourite staging moment of the last years for sure.
CZECHIA: Award for the slowest song
I know some of you celebrate that, and I am impressed by her voice too, but couldn’t it be a little faster? The slowness makes me lose interest every time…
CYPRUS: Award for the best faking of a rock song
Cause we all know that is Swedish pop at its best, just that they replaced synths with guitars. And it works better than it should, really.
AUSTRIA: Award for the sweetest entry of possibly all times
Imagine a calm meadow with unicorns on it and a ton of beautiful flowers in the sunshine, drenched in sugar and honey. This is about how sweet this looks and sounds.
ESTONIA: Award for the most useless staging choice
The voice is deep and dark and awesome, the song is catchy and awesome as well. Just what the hell happened to that staging? Especially as they once had it right. Afraid to win?
CORRECTION: After seeing it on stage, I think it worked for me. Jüri’s movements though…
AZERBAIJAN: Award for the worst vocals
Hit your votes, girl. Any other country would bomb with that, but she’ll probably still Q cause Azerbaijan.
MONTENEGRO: Award for the most robbed song
Providing the authenticity and power Cyprus lacks, and yet only the Cypriots will qualify. Well, they’re used to it by now.
ICELAND: Award for the darkest stage
Was Iceland’s screen so expensive that there was no money left to pay for the lights? Well, it fits the song I guess, but seeing Greta from time to time might not be a bad thing.
BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA: Award for most useless prop
Deen & Dalal already didn’t manage to connect in the video, I’m not sure if you should put barbed wire between them. (Even though it does seem to improve their connecting)
MALTA: Award for weirdest dancing
Because that may be expected from Moldova by now, but Malta? And how the hell does he even do that?
Well, those were the 18 awards to be given out today. But what about those ten that everybody actually wants to win? The ticket to the finals? Well, let’s have a look then… MFE predictions are coming your way!
Bosnia & Herzegovina